Creating Space for Your Life – by Rev. Candace P. Smolowe, MS

8-8-2013 6-22-34 AMThe universe is held together by a beautiful and vast peacefulness.  The tensions and spaciousness of every cell are held safe in its embrace.  Its gentle current reaches us through a child’s laughter and a bird’s early morning song.   It beckons in the moments before sleep and lingers after a deep kiss.  It is felt in tears of deep grief.  It cannot be understood with the mind, as much as we try to understand all things from that place.   It is elusive and always present, like finding love without being able to define what we’ve found.  In the moment we recognize that whatever is holding the universe together is also holding us together, we begin, ever so slowly, to ease up on our pushing against the world.  We can’t push and be held at the same time.

Here are some guidelines to help:

Intentionally allow stillness. 

“Your duty is to be and not to be this or that. ‘I am what I am’ sums up the whole truth. The method is summed up in the words ‘Be still.’ What does stillness mean? It means destroy yourself. Because any form or shape is the cause for trouble. Give up the notion that ‘I am so and so.’ All that is required to realize the Self is to be still. What can be easier than that?”

Ramana Maharshi

8-8-2013 6-26-03 AMThe ocean, at its deepest, is quiet and still.  Silent.  The surface, responding to currents of temperature and wind, fluctuates.  Yet underneath, the quiet stillness remains.


Every human being has this deep stillness within.   It breathes us and connects us and remains true no matter what nonsense we may be focused on in any given moment.

That nonsensical focusing is why some of my clients maintain they cannot meditate.   It is too difficult, they say.  Of course it is.  That’s why we call meditation a practice.  Difficult doesn’t mean you don’t do it.  It means that you enter into the process fully aware that your mind will want to wander away on its own and that the practice is about bringing it back, peacefully, without judgment, over and over.

8-8-2013 6-30-33 AMThis is what we must do every day anyway – keep returning to a place from which we can make decisions, have conversations, be at peace with ourselves.  A meditation practice fine-tunes us, rewarding us every now and then with an inspiring thought or extraordinary feeling of peace and well-being.  Contemplating the night sky, a majestic mountain, the endless horizon of the ocean also works.   The more we practice, the stronger our tendency to be inspired and peaceful.

Intentionally release.

“People who keep stiff upper lips find that it’s damn hard to smile.”

Judith Guest, Ordinary People

During my darkest times, I would fall apart regularly.   Those moments changed my life.   First, the sheer frequency and power of them forced me into practicing surrender.  Instead of fighting them, which only made it worse, I began to observe myself having them, knowing they would pass.  And the more I allowed myself to have and fully surrender into them, the less frequent they became until they disappeared altogether, not unlike the way a magnificent symphony winds down in the final stanzas into silence.  Secondly, allowing those tidal wave moments broke me open in a way that rational and careful thought never did.  Years of not expressing my pain came pouring out, mixed with the grief of never having felt safe enough to express it all before.  My broken heart finally opened.

It doesn’t always have to be so profound, but it often is, in direct response to the levels of repressing and avoiding that we have mastered.  Learn to invite your discomfort and fear into the room with you and watch what it does.  Journal, yell, find someone to help you, cry.   Trust that the space you need to honor all that you have experienced will be there, powerfully present and deep, supporting you.

Use your imagination.

8-8-2013 6-31-58 AM“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”

Albert Einstein

Our rational, logical, linear left-brain mind can take us just so far.  Beyond the logic is emotion, beyond the emotion is space, and beyond the space is Creation.  To imagine is to let the right brain bring Creation into your life to play with you, to expand and excite you.

The healing potential of the imagination is enormous and real.  Creating space for it is the process.

Allowing stillness creates a space within which we connect with something greater than we are.  Intentionally releasing creates an emotional and energetic space within which we can feel the chi, or life force of the universe, begin to move through us.  Using our imagination deliberately taps into the part of the mind that can access all realms of existence and creation.

Dancing, painting, singing, writing, daydreaming—these give us the energy to live.   Moving the body, through dance or yoga, connects us.  Writing, particularly fiction, invites healing in the form of a character or storyline to work things out.  Past-life regressions and sacred journeying, which I love to facilitate, yield rich landscapes through which issues are resolved and physical pains often disappear.

The surface of your life is not your life.   Be still, release, and imagine your life to be what you want it to be.  It is there, I promise, waiting for you.

8-8-2013 6-39-16 AMCandace P. Smolowe, MS
Candace P. Smolowe, MS, coaches from the heart. As an interfaith minister, her blending of spirituality, psychology and energy work creates a safe and vibrant space to heal lifelong issues of loss, neglect and abandonment. She is a Master Grief Coach, a Radical Forgiveness Coach and enjoys using EFT and hypnosis in her work.


About Nickey

Personal Touch Concierge Service is a multi-virtual assistance company that assists businesses and entrepreneurs with the day-to-day operation of their businesses, social media strategy and management, bookkeeping, and website design and maintenance. With over 25 years' experience in the legal and corporate fields, there is virtually nothing we can't accomplish for you. Transcription, word processing, proofreading, administrative duties, scheduling, research, keyword research and implementation, website content writing, email management, event planning - we can assist you with all the tasks you don't have time to do yourself. Because your time is valuable and you have your business to run!
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