As a life coach for 11 years, coaching hundreds of people from all walks of life with a myriad of goals, I’ve learned one thing for sure: Success in any life venture starts with a simple step: strongly believing that what you want is possible to obtain.
Unfortunately, many people come into my office wanting to change their lives or situations but without that important foundational belief system upon which to build success. They lack the positive attitude and belief in themselves and in the power of possibilities that leads to the confidence they need to succeed.
In short, they’re setting themselves up for failure by not believing success is possible. When I ask them if they really believe they can make their goal happen, they often stare blankly at me or look confused… and then blurt out “Sure” with a fearful or dumfounded look on their face. They have a dream but not an ounce of conviction about its potential for coming true.
Sometimes, this is because the client is, by nature, a negative person. He or she tends to focus more on the bad things that happen or the obstacles in the way rather than the positives and possibilities. For example, right before the recent presidential election, one of my closest friends was quite worried about her candidate’s chances of winning. She was letting the media onslaught of negative advertising and the pundits’ criticisms about her candidate permeate her psyche enough to adversely affect her mood and outlook.
She looked truly anxious when I spoke to her on November 4th, so I gave her an upbeat assessment of the actual state of the race in order to foster hope about a positive outcome. And, indeed, that outcome did come about.
I feel strongly that “What we believe, we receive.” If we believe we’re not smart enough, talented enough, or deserving enough to create and have what we want in life, chances are we won’t. However, if we believe we can achieve anything we set our minds to and attract everything we desire in life by making a clear intention, focusing on it in a positive way, and taking action to get it — guess what? We can! I know it sounds simplistic, bt it’s true. It’s more than just “looking on the bright side.” It’s being convinced that life really is good, and wonderful things really DO happen. It’s a huge attitude shift for some people (like the aforementioned negativethinker folks), and, yes, for them, it might be a BIG stretch to retrain their minds to think differently. But, hey, if it means no longer having that “victim mentality” that makes them feel at the mercy of circumstances rather than able to create their own destiny, isn’t it worth the stretch?
Here’s another example: I often tell people I live a “charmed life” because things seem to turn out well for me. I’ve been blessed with marketable talents, good moneymanagement skills, the drive to start my own businesses and buy my own house, two great kids, and the ability to attract two big-hearted husbands and now a wonderful man who could very well be the greatest love of my life. I used to ascribe much of my good fortune to luck or fortuitous timing. But, at age 59, after also navigating adversity such as the death of my youngest brother and my dad, two divorces, health issues, and some lean times income-wise, I can finally see the bigger picture. I now realize that, even when times were toughest for me, I somehow just “knew” inside things would work out fine. When I left my first marriage at age 41 as a freelance editor with no steady job and two children under 9, I didn’t fret. I remember thinking: “I know I’ll find a way; things are going to be OK.” And I had a backup contingency plan in case they didn’t. How did I know things would work out fine? Because I believed in myself enough and had built a strong enough support network to give me the confidence to face and overcome challenges.
And because I never gave up believing that everything happens for a reason and, if I used the lessons from the past, I could create an even better future. Today, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. And you can be too—if you BELIEVE you can…and stop listening to anyone who tells you differently. If you need a “cheerleader” to help you keep believing, get in touch. That’s what life coaching is all about!
Do You Really Believe Good Things Can Happen To You?Gayle Crist, M.S., is a life coach and dating coach in Doylestown. As a life coach, she helps people navigate life transitions such as separation/divorce or set and stick to life goals such as writing a book or starting their own business. As a dating coach, she helps singles discover places to meet people their age, improve their confi dence for dating, and create profi les/choose the best websites for online dating. Gayle is also a motivational speaker, seminar leader, copy editor, proofreader, and author of the book How I Met My Second Husband Online at Age 50. Check www.healthylifeplanning.com for life coach information and www.datingsuccesscoaching. com for dating coach info. You can reach her at 215- 489-0225 or firstname.lastname@example.org.